Gulaal - Review

Black Friday was very engaging,No Smoking was shocking and DevD was wonderfull but with Gulaal Anurag Kashyap moves into stereotype territory.A complete loser as an hero and a characterless woman as the leading lady.The so called brilliant lyrical songs were pathetically placed in the movie and tends to irritate you more than entertain.

The movie was made with the intention of poking fun at the communalism in India,broadbasing it on the struggle for Rajputana,however the struggle itself as depicted in the movie is too trivial.

The first half begins well enough with a stunning fireband speech by Menon and moves along tolerably with Dileep's life with the charismatic Ransa,his ragging and then his involvement with the student elections.Ransa,brilliantly acted and easily the best and most engaging character,gets knocked off by his illegitimate brother.So Dileep the loser he is accepts to become the dummy candidate and wins an rigged election.You can question why Dileep was made the candidate when the election was rigged but then this movie is not concerned with logic.

Kiran,Ransa's illegitimate sister,a losing candidate,then moves in on Dileep.Now till then he had this loser-loser love relationship with Anuja,but when another girl wants to have sex with him conviniently forgets her.From here on the movie goes predictably the girl manipulates the poor guy to confrontation with Menon and he gets thrown out from both politics and from Kiran's bedroom as well.She now moves on to Menon,the political veteran he is falls for this too.

Meanwhile Dileep probably the only living organism in this entire fking universe who does not understand why Kiran left him,familiarly spirals down into booze and sleaze and alienates Anuja[god knows why one would not cuddle up to a woman like that and go ravishing after meatier girls].He then goes psycho and decides to take revenge[!!!! why this sudden homocidal tendency??? two days boozing cant be the explanation],shoots Menon and his cohorts all the while demanding to talk to Kiran.

Meanwhile Kiran's brother is making grandiose plans to become Rajputana's senapati by bumping off Menon and his trusted sidekick Bati.Our hero now moves in on Kiran's hq and shoots everyone here too and has a dialogue with Kiran.The loser he is,he does not shoot her and lets her go while the other goons come in and shoot him.Then comes a long pointless walk back to his home,having a chest wound[dedicated to a certain captain perhaps :) ],and he dies.Kiran's bro becomes the new senapati movie ends.

I could not for the love of God understand all this fuss over a GS seat.It might have made sense some twenty years ago with the Govt Univ model but with the number of private colleges and better transparency in most govt. colleges too this does not make sense at all.And the comedy portrayal of the Rajputana moment deosnt help.

Piyush Mishra and Ransa provide the movie's tolerable moments however the much appreciated songs tend more to irritate than entertain.The two most promising characters,apart from Kay Kay Menon of course,in Ransa and Anuja remain undeveloped and wasted.Overall avoid paying money for this one.

And The (Real) Oscars Go To

I do know that no amount of cribbing on my part is going to change things but just to soothe a frustrated mind here is my revision of the oscar list.

First of all not nominating The Dark Knight and WALL-E for the best picture and best direction seems really stupid and populist to me.The Dark Knight is rated as the 4th best movie of all time in IMDB and is one of the highest grossers and it is left out.Why? the movie is dark and sombre and is not in tune with the time.The message that a jackass can win a million bucks guessing an answer is more to the times than somebody being decent inspite of the times.Why WALL-E was not nominated in the best picture category i cannot even begin to fathom.
Anyways here goes the list

1.Best Adapted Screenplay:
Agreed the slumdog adaptation was fresh but does it compare to Benjamin Button? The movie is a stunning transformation from a complex short story by fitzgerald.To visualize a story where your two leading characters age in reverse
directions and to pull it off in the most convincing style is worth a oscar man com'on.
Winner : Benjamin Button

2.Best Sound Mixing
Dude you give sound editing to Dark Knight but sound mixing to Slumdog.I cannot understand the logic.Dark Knight clearly outscored here.
Winner : Dark Knight

3.Best Cinematography
If somebody has seen Revolutionary Road or The Reader or The Dark Knight then the choice would have been from the three.

4.Best Film Editing
Benjamin Button without a doubt.Stunning visual brillance.

5.Best Picture
The Dark Knight Or WALL-E.I cannot sing more praises for these films it should be evident to anyone with a +ve IQ.

6.Best Director
Christopher Nolan or Andrew Stanton.Period.

7.Best Original Soundtrack
The Dark Knight's soundtrack was way better than any other released this year.The music sustains the dark mood throughout the movie and keeps you on the edge of your seat.

8.Best Song
Should've been O Saya instead of the Jai Ho nonsense. or listen to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OSvJvSwmd4

So there it is and comments/brickbats welcome

Of Fools And Mad Men

This EPL season has been great with plenty of laughter points all over.
1.Joe Kinnear - never seen a fool like this guy.Charles Insomnia had me laughing so hard that i got stares from my colleagus.St James Park is much more a circus ride this year than in previous seasons so much so that Given that saintly magpie packed up and left for the other circus in town.
2.Chelsea going bonkers - roman's deep pockets can no longer be picked at chelsea anymore.They sell bridge and cudicini and sign quaresma [the leading contender for the serie a duckass this season] on loan.
3.Arsene losing his plot - no idea why he dint anyone in the summer and signs arshavin when they can do with some decent defenders and good midfielders esp. when veloso and bullard were available.
4.Aston Villa playing some great footie and leading the charge to break the top four.
5.Everton playing for so long without a striker and sitting at sixth.This guy David Moyes should write a how to manage book that all bankers be forced to mug.
6.Man City - need i say more?? 100m+ for one player earning 26m a year.Dude you can buy ireland + iceland for that money nowadays.
7.Hull City - joint leaders in October relegation favorites in Feb.Hmmm we need more clubs like this one.
Meanwhile another Madrid coach loses his job and a president soon follows suit.I think people are taking the Joker too seriously and are not being too serious anymore.

Some qns to keep the donkey alive

1.Until recently the German town of Herzogenaurach was divided into two bitter camps. ''There were always the ones who supported X and others favoring Y,'' said Hans Lang, mayor of the town.An X employee put it more brutally: ''You would be fired immediately if you showed up in Y.So strict is the line that locals claim even marriages between X and Y families were rare until the 1970s.Until the 1980s, children usually chose to join the firm where their father already worked, separating the city into X and Y families who visited their own pubs or played for their clubs. Explain.

2.X originally was a short story by Y that tells the story of Z attending a boring dinner party at the Government House in Nassau with a group of socialites he can't stand. While the story does not include action elements, as other Y tales do, it attempts to posit that Z’s adventures pale in comparison with real life drama.

3.______ was born in Hungary moved to the US in 1913 with his parents.He became professor of physics at Marquette University in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The original system used for something was developed in 1950 by Kenneth Harkness. By 1960, using the data developed through the Harkness Rating System, _____ developed his own formula which had a sound statistical basis and constituted an improvement on the Harkness System. The new rating system was approved and in 1960. In 1970 the governing body also agreed to adopt the _____ Rating System. Id the guy and for what the rating system is used.

4.He's every employee's worst nightmare. He wasn't born mean and unscrupulous, he worked hard at it. And succeeded. As for stupidity, well, some things are inborn. His top priorities are the bottom line and looking good in front of his subordinates and superiors (not necessarily in that order). Of absolutely no concern to him is the professional or personal well-being of his employees. He is technologically challenged but he stays current on all the latest business trends, even though he rarely understands them

5.In ancient China coins were circular with a rectangular hole in the middle. Several coins could be strung together on a rope. Merchants in China, if they became rich enough, found that their strings of coins were too heavy to carry around easily. To solve this problem they did something that evolved into a first of its kind in history.Id?

James Bond b.1962 d.2008 RIP.

I dont know what this re-booting of the Bond series is meant to acheive.The things that made the bond series so memorable
a]The super cool villians - Blofeld,Scaramanga,Dr No
b]The delicious dialogues [I thought Christmas came only in winter :-)]
c]The super cool bond girls.
d]The gadgets
e]Bond himself being the ultimate arrogant chauvinist.

All of that has been removed and we have an watered down film having a no good villian making cheap jokes [the damaged goods commment was just too childish].The bond girls [Olga & the other one atterton i think] hardly make an impression.Bond himself goes through the movie with just one expression on his face.There are no gadgets,no witty dialogue nothing that even remotely interests us.The less said about the plotline the better.If producers want to make a realistic spy movie they would better watching the bourne movies [though these movies themselves could have been made much better.]
If i wanted this "humane raw" movie i might as well go to a vin diesel/statham movie they probably would have better stunts.
We need someone to do a nolan and rescue this series.

I think that most of the problems with arsenal is self inflicted with their so called pay structure severely screwing their team. Arsene's arguments on leaving behind a good financial situation behind for his successor is his usual bollock stuff. I mean common you need atleast one good CM to replace players like diarra, flamini and gilberto.A player like that Arsenal do not have presently in the squad [denilson,diaby and song are all too young to step up]. So a player has to be bought.That will surely cost somthing in the range of 7-8 mill atleast.That plus he will definitely be on a payscale significantly more than the pittance arsenal paid to flamini.
Also the team spirit came under some severe beating in the preseason with hleb gone,flamini gone and adebayor agitating for a move too all tied up with salary issues.
Now the team seems broken and without spirit.Arsene has to put his hand up accept his mistakes and buy decent players in the January window.Also Gallas as capt is a joke.Everybody except arsene know it.
All this makes for a hugely entertaining fare for me.As i just LOVE to HATE Arsenal and arsene wenger.

PussyCat Doll wins

I've only now recovered from the severe shocks suffered on sunday night.In two minutes i experienced a multitude of human emotions from
1.dull gloom - Hamilton 5th good enough for championship.
2.bafflement - kubica tries to overtake vettel and hamilton.
3.joy - vettel overtakes hamiltion.massa gonna win championship.
4.ecstasy - massa wins race and with it the championship.
5.horror - in the middle of jumping all over the room awaking my poor roomies i see the race classification stating hamilton as fifth.
6.anger - video of glock slowing down.
7.sadness - this was realistically massa's best chance to win the championship and at home too! cause Ferrari will pull behind kimi the minute he comes back to form.

This was as good a finish as i've ever seen.Right from the start of the race it was evident that it was going to end in rain.So it was beautiful watching the teams plot their way with multiple pit stop strategies.And the last fifteen laps especially was dripping with tension and suspense.
Sadly one team's gamble did not pay off.